I have struggled through some of the tales here.
Some were very funny, most were in dire need of
spell-checking and perhaps a bit-bucket.
So, instead of cursing the darkness I shall light
a candle and relate some of the stories I have to tell.
Mind you, I was very young when I did some of the things
I'm confessing to, don't try this at home!
I try to never miss a New Model Army concert when they
play near me. Having been a fan since the early eighties,
this means a few stories indeed.
The very first NMA concert I saw was mostly a disaster
because it was in a big open park and quite a lot of
Skinheads of the Neo-Nazi persuasion had turned up.
(NMA is a left-wing band, just to reassure you) Having
suffered through a stream of insults of the "We should make
matresses out of your hair, like we did with the jews
in the reich" most of my friends had moved to another
stage where Living Colour were playing simultaneously.
I was a REAL fan and I stayed. It later was a small
comfort to know that one of the Nazi's had done something
to the bike belonging to one of the also very much present Hell's
Angels and the Angels had kicked some of them halfway
through town.
One Disaster was averted when an ex-girlfriend showed
up at a concert, knowing I wouldn't miss it for the world.
This was one aggressive lady and she had allready once
punched a girl I was with. Luckilly I had backstage passes.
(and she didn't)
At another concert (not NMA) the same lady turned up,
and instead of getting violent she just started bragging
about how she was friends with the band and would meet them
later on, etc. etc. I just let her talk (allready glad
enough she wasn't kicking and screaming by then) and
walked myself and my date through the "guests and band only"
entrance, leaving her in the queue for the tickets booth.
I do not have a singing voice, but when NMA, or in this case
just the singer/guitarist Justin Sullivan, play(s), I often
find myself singing along. Ofcourse at this particular gig
Justin shifted the position of a bridge and I found myself
the only one singing in the entire venue. The tapes someone
made are much sought-after bootleg/trade items now, but
probably not because of my surprise performance.
I'm quite fond of my regular spot at the stage, a bit off the
left. This is where I usually get the best "show", so I
usually suffer through the opening act (which once was just a
band singing Star-Trek quotes on Synthesizer music..)
but most fans spend this time drinking and chatting in the
bar. You see, us NMA fans are a close-knit group of
people all over the world and a concert is like a reunion.
One of the more recent tours was promoted by some promotors
as "New Model Army" and "Nobody Else" (note the capitals).
Ofcourse "Nobody else" was "and nobody else" and meant
an accoustic set before the main one. It was quite funny
getting the rest out of the bar "They've STARTED!!" and
watching the looks of panic on their faces.
hen there are the small things, a mixing panel
spontaneously combusting, strings breaking ("this was
a short Chinese Jazz piece entitled American Guitar string in B" -Rev Hammer-)
and once a friend of mine was up on stage with his
band, slotted fourth after some big and medium bands.
His big break. One of their "things" was their dual
Death-Metal-grunt vocals and melodious singing combined.
So, his solo singing piece comes up, he braces himself,
takes a cool metal pose, cups the mic in both hands in
front of his face. His hair flying, the guitars screaming,
and right when he starts to sing the mic goes to pieces.
Small ones. It literally fell apart. Everything that
could come loose, did.
I myself once sung in a Death-metal band (can't sing,
logical choice)and our first gig was in a school.
(we hadn't been specific about what we played) Ofcourse,
no monitors (and I LIKE hearing myself), no PA/backline
-at all!- So we carted in some stuff from a friends house
nearby, put a matress in front of the drum-kit and faked it.
After the gig my throat hurt, but strengthened by tales
of Death-Metal heroes spitting blood after gigs I ignored
it. In the middle of a conversation with a girl with
groupie aspirations my voice gave out. Not a peep.
It took me a week before I could talk again. The girl left
with the drummer I think.
Slayer and Machinehead toured together through Europe
a while back (I'm a cloggie, in Amsterdam) and I took
a girl there who had almost asked ME on the date, stating she
was SUCH a Slayer fan!! Well, usually I'm in the pit
but I was just back from the hospital and still feeling
weak so we had seats. Machinehead did a ripping set
and finished. The girl got up and started to leave.
I asked where she was going. "Hasn't Slayer finished?"
the answer came... exit bimbo.
Well, I could go on and on, I'm probably getting old...
Greetz.
DD.
nobeard@xs4all.nl
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