Pops Concert Jollies

This article submitted by on 1/6/00.

Topic: Give your tale a brief descriptive title

The Tale:

Pops Concert Jollies
All sorts of stuff goes on onstage in an orchestra concert which the public never knows or perhaps even wants to know about. Some years ago, during the musical lobotomy of a Rochester Philharmonic pops concert, two friends of mine shared the first stand of the Second Violin section. They were a couple of priceless characters, each worthy of their own Vegas act.
One of the games they invented to keep from flatlining was for Richard, the Principal Second, to press his foot gently but firmly down on Pauląs (the Assistant Principaląs) foot, in the manner of a gas pedal. In exact sink with this, Paul would speed up or slow down his vibrato, or some other such violinistic function. This amusing activity kept escalating, as such things usually do, until very little attention was being paid to the passing of the concert itself.
Paul seemed to be slightly more aware of the page in front of him, and managed to slip his mute on as indicated in the part. He then pointed at his mute for Richard to notice (in order to get his on also for the coming soft passage).
However, Pauląs gesture came about 3 milliseconds before the next entrance. Richard, a strong but extremely nearsighted fellow, in the remaining two milliseconds, slammed his mute on, knocking the bridge of the violin over and essentially having his beautiful Italian fiddle explode in his face. In the severely constrained limits of stage decorum, Paul, silently and motionlessly, laughed so hard he peed his pants. (All this was occurring, by the way, less than 5 feet from the conductor.)
Both gentlemen now have thriving careers in other cities.

Chris Woehr, violist
Saint Louis Symphony Orchestra

Article complete. Click HERE to return to the Concert Disasters Menu Page.