Trouble in the bass section...

This article submitted by J.R. on 11/18/00.

Topic: Give your tale a brief descriptive title

The Tale:

I am the only girl in my band who's in the bass section (and for all you band-impaired that section consists of bass clarinets, bassoons, tubas, baritones, tenor sax's, bari sax's, sousaphones, and in some cases, trombones..) but I am special because I play contra alto clarinet-- not that I'm fat or anything, but I have a lot of air pressure for being slightly 5 feet tall. Anyways, like I said, I am the only girl in a bass section of about 14 people, including me. Most of the guys in the section are pretty nice, and treat me like a lady. Particulary this one bass clarinetist, named Anthony. He is constantly flirting with me and asking me out, and begging me to be his girlfriend, but yousee, I have a sweetheart of my own, Bryan, and he isn't in the band :( . Well anyways, one day after class, the whole section was staying after to go over a few measures. Bryan was watching from the audience, waiting for me. When we were done, I was disassembling the monstrous instrument, and Bryan was standing in the background, waiting. Out of no where, Anthony comes up and kisses me! I screamed, and hit him upside the head with the largest part of my instrument. That got the whole section going... not to mention that poor Bryan was shocked, and wondering what the hell was going on. So while the rest of the section were practically killing Anthony, Bryan was seeing red, and ready to kill the guy himself. I had to call everyone off of Anthony, and as soon as he least expected it, Bryan tackled him from behind.. well it doesn't take a genius to see that no one messes with me anymore.

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